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Satire

As a diehard, lifelong New York Yankees fan, I just had to write some satirical articles for The Heckler:

Stanton sprains thumbs removing facemask, to be assigned mask ‘caddy’
Frustrated by power outage, A-Rod asks Yankees to move fences closer
Posada training with Yogi Berra to prepare for ceremonial first pitch
A-Rod dusted by Pettitte after monster home run in batting practice
Joba questioned after empty boxes found in Rafael Soriano’s home
Yankees ‘passed the hat’ to ensure Burnett’s trade to the Pirates
Steinbrenner sends his team unused 2011 Yankees World Series tickets
Montero refuses trade to Seattle, joins Peace Corps instead
Chavez plunked in Wiffle ball, Spring Training in jeopardy
Yankees deal Feliciano to A’s for office supplies
Posada taking grounders, expects to start as ball boy along first base line
Inspired by bobblehead, A.J. Burnett to unveil new delivery in Spring Training
Swisher vows to hit his weight again next post-season, quietly adopts strict diet
Yanks sign Pavano to two-year stint on DL